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I'm Just Getting Started,
I'm Not Finished Yet!
kidman_billy
this journal makes me look less social than I actually am. That says something too but I've been scarce on a lot of things lately, not that I'm surprised but still, disappointed. I still hate change so that's still in it's place, doesn't help that it's unavoidable to the point of frustration. All the more reason to get back in touch with people. And as promised awhile back, I'll be at the reception tomorrow night too.

Being in a good mood helps that out, talking with Nora to see if I really missed all that much is always amusing. More than it should be, all in good fun. Kind of hard to even attempt anger at me when she's laughing because..it really was funny. Maybe not so much to her though.

Left a message for Alexis too that hopefully woke her up or just annoyed the hell out of her in retaliation for all the times she's done that to me in the middle of the night. On a similar topic, it's apparently a lot of fun to just wake me up in the AM hours. I'll have to try that out for myself, not that I'd get any jollies from the sort, heh. Sounds worth trying out at least once.

Just to say it, whoever said Thai food is good for you, lied. And whoever thought Green Tea ice cream was a good idea was full of shit. Milk and leaf flavor doesn't blend as well in reality as it does on paper.

So much more to comment on, but not right now. Best really to just sit back and wait for the already interesting goings on and quickly drawn conclusions to pique interest further. Now I have so much I procrastinated on that I need to get finished, or to just think about getting done.

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Current Mood: mellow mellow

4 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
Compared to the other spans of time this journal has gone unused. I did say I would keep up with this when I created it and I do plan to get back into the swing of the entry thing. My excuses for not doing so weren't, well, good or valid anyway.

As the only Cruiserweight in the Open at Wrestlemaina and frankly the only Cruiser here with a journal-which is amusing but sad on more than one level-I do have to mention our match. A little shorter and not what we all expected I think and probably the only more cruiser-like high risk spots in the match were done by myself and Oscar. While my Shooting Star cross body could have been tighter, I did hit my targets cleanly and without post adrenaline injury. And Yoshihiro seemed to be having a slightly..bad night when it comes to balancing on your own two feet.

I've barely seen Chris (Kanyon) since he was released last month so it was fucking great to see him at the Wrestlemainia after-party. Strange backstage without seeing him somewhere when I have consistently for years, even if it is one of those uncontrollable outcomes you have to learn to deal with. Or be bitter and on edge, whatever works for the said person.

I think I'm getting too used to the blind but cognizant eye and not remembering about being able to cast an amused glance here and there. Not that I want to give up my perceptiveness or sense of humor. It does depend on the situations where saying something and knowing what you're talking about without contradiction and still gaining a chuckle from it all.

Anyway, if the wonders of flawless technology weren't acting up as badly as they have been for the last two days I would have played that direct catch up with people. Even though for some reason I always have the distinction of what's happening either way. But I will be somehow talking to a few soon.

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Current Mood: relaxed relaxed

3 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
This slipped my mind, really, but Peter indeed needed to update his damned journal. Heh, thanks for the kind reminder Nor'. So an 'oops' is probably the best excuse/apology I have. Too early anyway.

I accidentally was in possession of dug up things, spent hours with them for no apparent reason. I'm probably going to have that watcher mentality forever sadly. And I'm not a pack rat, just lazy when it comes to remembering to clean out boxes in the basement, much less clean a slate altogether. I don't think I've had one, though some older marks-no pun intended- can be more memorable and esteemed than others, 'pending on what it meant.

I have something or other I do want to say, write, whichever, but it's impossible to go about it. Sitting still and trying to mesh thoughts into something clear to explain isn't going to happen. And when you start to irritate yourself is a sure sign that it's time to ignore it, heh.

And I think I remember I'm supposed to meet people somewhere next week but where and when I'm not sure of..obviously. Yeah, I think I'm going to go back to sleep now. Socializing later.

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Current Mood: nostalgic nostalgic

3 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
I get the strangest phone calls sometimes. Monday -Or rather early Tuesday-, Alexis felt the need to leave me an intelligible message that was really just incentive for me to be social among the small little gathering they had going. Glad I did. It was refreshing and normal; odd as that sounds.

Don't really have an excuse and saying 'I really didn't have anything to say for nearly forty days...really.' would be a blatant lie. I hated my attitude and the direction I was letting my already indescribable mind was going in. Then just been around and a little busy, actually being on the bigger of the two Smackdown related shows is a pretty new thing. Which also led to avoiding the catering lately.

I did start to finally catch up with people in general this week. Still late at night or extremely early mornings, but better all things considering.

Except the others on the brand or whoever else for some reason feels like taking the trip to Canada too, I doubt I'll be able to see anyone else until next week. I still have people I've neglected to call, like Nora whom I haven't gotten a hold of yet.

A lot of people I want to talk to and see, I'll get on that. It's really not all that funny that around now is when I'm having computer problems, irony has a thing for me I think. And Lex and I still have the "playground" analogy to prove right or wrong, heh.

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Current Mood: pleased pleased
Current Music: Tonic : Mean To Me

5 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
Or my journal was. And I still think that's the most random thing you can be able to say.

Sort of been living like a bat, owl or whatever nocturnal flyer you wanna' name, I fall into that pattern if I have more than a few days off. Though it's probably not the best thing to keep going with since I do have the taping tomorrow and I haven't even hit the sheets yet so being up all night is what'll end up happening.

I really should have turned my laptop on, communicated; something. Maybe I'm a little sleep deprived but I don't understand the constant shift of emotions, well, I do--on one part, but I knew about that one. *shrugs* I can understand though, even if it's old to me by now; the nagging and annoying feeling if you think you were lied to or jerked around.

But shit. How long until something gets tiresome and bigger pictures are seen than day-by-day feelings that do yes again; change with the tides or 'pending on who you're speaking with. Hell, I didn't even know there was 'sides' to be on. Ah well, screw it y'know?

Not that I really care either way, what's still on the minds and tongues of some people I haven't been involved in for nearly a week so it's not like it even concerns me anymore and I haven't even talked to anyone in..nearly a week. Fuck, when I sleep it off and step back into the loop I'll try to fix that. Sorry.

And not that I'm not upset, sure am. -Even if I don't really know who I'm directly upset at and for what specific reason. I've thought enough about all that by now.- One of the two who have the only probable rights to be, but all that needed to be said was said. Even if the outcomes weren't what we all wanted. But whining never solved much for me, liquor on the other hand; comes much closer. New Year's was more of my holiday anyway.

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Current Mood: groggy groggy
Current Music: Saxon : Terminal Velocity

11 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
it would make sense if I said something too. If the power decides to not go out again.

The majority of the moods are confused, I was like that too a few hours ago, then the what the fuck one, then eventually a few things'll click and make some sort of sense. Not completely but work with what you get I suppose.

Even though one's version or their reality might overlook the other heads that got virtually fucked with the U-turn, and neither of them are Patty. There's so much I could mention about things said and done within the past two days but that would probably cause just as much amusement along with new colors of confusion and hostility. On my own part really.

Probably a little more eager to get to the arena than I should be, just to take in the sight to make sure I really didn't implode from the too much information at one time. Or lack thereof.

I am glad for the temporary apathy about the whole situation right now though, but that could be because I'm tired out of my mind. So I doubt it'll last, but I do have a job to do so all that would have to wait regardless.

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Current Mood: indifferent indifferent

l'étoile
kidman_billy
Happy Birthday to Oscar, I hope you had a great one man.

And welcome to the last year of your twenties; feels strange doesn't it?

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Current Mood: good good

1 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
And get my body to get the time right. Bad enough to have to be awake in the early morning, even worse to have to do that twice because of the time zone changes coming back to the states. Yesterday was a groggy blur, so I slept through most of that.

The overseas tour went well...besides that shit of a plane landing we had. Really unnerving way to start, especially knowing you'll have to take the same way back. Going to South Africa in February will be a trip too, it'll be a great weather change again.

Over a month without much contact from the people your so used to being around really can make you grateful for the overexposure Dawn mentioned. It's just good to be around her again, even if we were all tired and rushed, she did somehow get me to enjoy the trip more than I probably would have.

I love her modest act more than anything at the moment though, I don't know how many times she's changed outfits and asked 'How does this look?' and flipping her hair. The near unbearably sexy love testing their skills. Interesting game, heh. I think I owe her some newer outfits to make up for tears and broken clasps if the good people who help with our attire have a problem.

For the sake of stating; isolation does nothing for self control later on.

There's a few things weighing heavy on my mind and I know they shouldn't be, but it's not the worst feeling when it's obvious it's hard to put a lot of things in perfect order. *chuckles* It'll be nice seeing more people again around the taping's in a few hours.

Edit: And Happy Birthday to Kurt!

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Current Mood: relaxed relaxed

6 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
The holiday's never are just a day apparently, and being that my mother is the kind of person to hit you over the head with your own cell phone if she thought you were being disrespectful, touching my laptop was out for the few days I spent with the family, heh. Pretty sluggish after Thanksgiving but there probably wasn't a better way to spend it.

The only real problem that happened was when the little kids running around ate all the marshmallows from the Lucky Charms boxes and got sick...all over the floor. *chuckles* Though as great as seeing my family was, I have had enough of others in my bloodline until Christmas.

Glancing around I guess I did miss a good amount. Something is probably wrong with me since I do agree with something said by a person I wouldn't normally agree with. You find things in really fucking strange places sometimes. *snicker*

Certain actions are even more strange...really, really funny but strange in an 'ignorance is stupidity with a less insulting title' kind of way. *smirk* Still, not really sure what really makes sense or what to be aware of.

And as far as I know, I'm cleared and should be active at Tuesday's tapings. The cards subject to change and all that, so I doubt I'll know anything until the day of. I never was good at the waiting game.

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Current Mood: pleased pleased
Current Music: 112 & Ludacris : Hot and Wet

9 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
Everything on this computer seems to be sorted out so I can finally get the journal pages to work properly since it doesn't like me doing more than one thing. I've been scanning the hell out of the Unscripted book and it really liked to make the screen freeze every so often. But that could have been because of my lack of patience. Just pretty much shows how much time I've been wasting being home.

The workouts are much less watered down so I don't feel as lazy and useless as I did two weeks ago. *chuckles* So this really is a rest up of sorts until I have to brave the family get together's around Thanksgiving. Going from Florida to Pennsylvania to Connecticut and back again in a few days is sure to be a treat. I'll probably call Dawn to give her a laugh while she's off on Jersey since I already know in advance that any holidays around the Gruner homes are going to be more than interesting.

I was wondering about something but I really can't think of the right way to word it. A little too tired for that. I still do wonder if paranoia can make someone want to do something first just to make sure they're not one upped or taken off guard. Did start an interesting conversation though.

Randomly I hope I'm not blamed for someone else's jabs at another friend. *smirk* Not that I brought the idea up of course.

I was thinking about changing around my journal like a lot of people seem to be doing lately, I have had the same thing for awhile now. I should get on that...maybe, heh.

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Current Mood: calm calm
Current Music: D.I.T.C : Champagne Thoughts

15 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
Almost ironic that the long Smackdown week ends here. I know Dawn's happy about it and being that she has the most beautiful smile, I'm inclined to agree that this is one of the best places to be. *grins*

On a...disappointing note; my knee has been acting up again so I have a few weeks off to sort everything out. I was thinking it might have been from the over seas shows where I had a botch and only took one House Show off because of it. Probably a stubborn thing to do and I might have been able to avoid this few weeks rehabilitation if I would have focused on the tweak then rather than working the many squashes for the past few weeks.

A month, give or take, is much better than the last knee problem way back when. Or even my damn shoulder of more recent history I'll still be around most of the shows since it's not serious or anything I can't handle, and that at least I am thankful for. I'll just be doing a bit less, not that I did much recently anyway, heh. A little depressing honestly, but complaining won't help any matter.

Speaking of that, there are a lot of bandwagons as of late, or from looking around now. I'd join in, if I felt up to a good argument or laugh but I haven't been called 'The W-B-K' nickname for years and it really wasn't my favorite. *chuckles*

I did finally start to get some newer icons uploaded. I found out there are a good amount of sites about me in Russian and German when I was looking around for better pictures. Pretty interesting since they did know more about me than most other places. By what the online translators helped me with showed.

Now to claim a spot backstage to watch everyone run around for the tapings. *chuckles* I need to find Dawn too, most likely being hovered over by personnel. She's adorable when trying to hide her annoyance, heh.

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Current Mood: okay okay

12 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
Even if it's the day after; again, Happy, Birthday baby doll. I still have a gift to give to Dawn that I kept forgetting about all day. She's more casual about everything more than I could ever be so it was good to see her relaxed and enjoying all the attention she got. Yeah..even from the make up women. *chuckle*

It is kind of funny that they keep putting my quote from a few months ago in the magazines. Even if they did just pick parts out of what I said and toned it down. It really isn't like I want to start trouble purposely, heh. But they did ask for a straight opinion and they got one. Stretching to a ramble is just what happens.

I was wondering if there really is a difference of not wanting to know something or just not caring enough to find out. Convincing yourself of what you think should or needs to be done just to have that solid block in your head doesn't make it true either way.

Some things, or people rather are starting to get more along the interesting side than the just borderline amusing that they were. Aw hell, it'll shift again because patience runs low, especially if my own form of games are tried on me.

On-air time is an amazing thing. I wonder if I'll get more of that out of the taping's later. They did have Jamie and I team at the House Show two days ago, still I will be honestly surprised if they actually follow through with a plan they had for me, heh.

And I wish I did know why I was awake, but a sleeping Dawn Marie is quite the pleasant sight even at five in the morning. *grins* Thus pretty much ruining anything I really could have complained about this groggy morning.

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Current Mood: calm calm
Current Music: laptop sounds

11 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
Because she still is my favorite Nitro Girl.

Happy Birthday Sharm! Hope it's a great one.

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Current Mood: sleepy sleepy

1 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
Since everyone else is going trick or treating early..Collapse )

And Happy Birthday to Adam! More of us are going to be hitting that thirty mark this year so we're not far behind you man. *chuckle*

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Current Mood: amused amused
Current Music: Flipside : Freeway

16 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
Surprisingly, daylight savings time didn't mess me up in the least. I even remembered to set my watch back..or I was reminded to do so. Good thing too, can't have my punctuality be worse than it already is, heh.

It was good to be home this week, more than good. Nothing better than sleeping in your own bed all morning or just lounging around the house. Especially when you can smell Dawn's perfume in every room. An added bonus I suppose. And it looks like Dawn and I both had our own experience with being covered in paint. *chuckles* Green's and yellows aren't my color really.

So Oscar and Nora beat us at bowling and I lost a thousand-fucking-dollars because of the Series. *chuckles* I guess it's good that I find amusement in it, I do now understand why Dawn had to hold in her giggles because of my outbursts. Even if it really wasn't all that funny...

I finally caught up with a good amount of people recently. Some I haven't seen in years and the other guys I haven't really talked to in a while because of the brand split. Lexy and I caught up a little and the three of us talking...albeit it wasn't really a comfortable conversation but it probably was a good thing.

It's great to be back on the road, back in the routine and swing of things with everyone else. *smirk* Even if my routine just includes House Show's and Velocity for another week.

And randomly, it's funny how things normally dreaded turn out to be quite the opposite. Or how certain words roll of the tongue easily, they really do have a nice ring to them. Normally it would be be hard getting used to these damned hotel beds again...but I think somehow I'll manage.

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Current Mood: good good
Current Music: Fuel : Falls On Me

13 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
Has been a little too long since I wrote in this, didn't seem like any time at all really since I've still been as social as ever. *smirk* Some kind of excitement if I'm involved. Plus you'd think at least Oscar has had enough of me from contributing to all the amusement in his journal. *snickers*

Surprisingly last night I did get a match, even though I doubt many people saw it besides the crowd and everyone backstage. *laughs* It was great to be the first match the No Mercy crowd saw, even if it wasn't what they paid for. It was good, but good isn't great and only great is worthy of being a champion. But for the moment, I'm just happy to actually be in front of a live crowd since it has been over three months...but hey, who's counting? *chuckles* Seriously though, you all did do a great job last night.

There is a rumor going around that Jaimie and I'll be a tag team being he's 'updated his wardrobe to match Kidman’s', as long as it isn't the Jean-shorts... It does sound interesting since we did pull of some great matches together.

Last week I did finally spend some time at home and it was great for the first time in a while. Even better since Nora-and everyone else who live around me, heh- was around. Dawn stayed with me, I think she just wanted to figure out what was so great about Tampa...I don't think either of us found it yet, heh.

Though that trip home did prove that I do, in fact, have a steady hand. *grins* And that I'm a little more creative than I thought.

It was good to talk to Lexy and Sharm recently, even if my ideas are all but shot down, heh. By the way, welcome to all the new people who finally got journal's, a lot of you I haven't caught up with in ages.

There are a few things that I'm probably a little too interested in or has caught my attention. Probably not a good thing since I do have a tendency of getting myself into trouble, but I haven't ever backed down from what I see as a challenge or something of strange fascination. Doubt I'll be starting anytime soon either.

Since the community move and getting things sorted out, I am going to try my attempt changing some things around on the journal and old icons. *chuckles* We'll see how that all goes.

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Current Mood: mellow mellow
Current Music: Just the sounds of RAW

15 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
I guess I'm catching the really late-or extremely fucking early- flight-since I need to leave in an hour or two..or something. Dawn and Oscar are still around, hopefully they'll know what airport we're all supposed to be at. I have no idea how long this flight'll be, I just know I'm sleeping through it.

Man, between teaming against the Bashams on Saturday and going against Terry on Sunday, I wonder just how much of me there'll be left to actually paint one of these towns the many tints of red Dawn said we were going to. But hey, stamina baby. *laugh*

And speaking of getting my ass kicked at House Shows; I have been fighting Charlie a lot, we had a good match a few days ago actually. *chuckles* And I think I can be the first to tell everybody that Shelton is as healthy as ever. Ouch.

Kind of makes me real thankful for Velocity, or else I wouldn't even feel like a Cruiserweight anymore, heh. And randomly, I'm not always that quiet..or still at that, so I really don't know how that analogy can apply to me.

I had a great time in Finland, I'd stay longer just to see the things I missed even though I'll probably say the same thing about Germany too. But like everything else, you gotta' move on because there's plenty more you have to see and do before you lose your chance. And no one misses an opportunity of a lifetime if they have a say in the matter right?

You can always look back, so that's a reason to pay attention. You have to see fear to smell it, decipher lust before you can taste it and take in the aura of love before-or if you can really feel it and all that's in between. *snickers* Or I have to at least, but I don't think I've ever made perfect sense. And I'm too tired to be more cryptic than that right now...

Wow, I really have to get ready to go it's going to be funny as hell to check out and find out my room service and long distance phone bill from talking to Nor' and Lexy will be. Whoops. Yeah..so I think I'll be the one in a groggy haze and muttering all day. *smirks* Great company I'm sure.

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Current Mood: sleepy sleepy
Current Music: The phone for my wake-up call...yeah, great timing

8 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
I'm starting to wonder who exactly keeps requesting Ready to Rumble be put on random channels so often and that maybe I should start requesting royalties. *grins* Not that I don't laugh my ass off even when it's on mute after all this time.

You know, maybe if Wall calmed down his whining and constant obsession of trying to get under Lex's skin, he might eventually one day get a few 'admirers' of his own. Heh.

Moving on, Smackdown is going International soon so it will be different not having as many people backstage as there normally is but I'm looking forward to checking out all the night life we missed last time we went. Really awesome scenes around there, but the jet lag'll be hell.

I won't let Dawn change the typo in this icon, it's amusing and flattering in the way we look at it. A moment of sorts. *smirk*

I'm really starting to miss the Wild Samoan..--Bowling Alley. *chuckles* I really need to visit there soon.

And I normally wouldn't be watching the game, but I was forced into a three hundred dollar bet that I'm sure will get raised later. Damn.

Current Mood: cheerful cheerful
Current Music: The Yankees and the Twins

15 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
Looks as though things have quieted down somewhat from the 'See Spot Run' variations of last night. *chuckles* I was amused and since that looked to be the goal of it, I couldn't really complain about anything. It did get an awful lot of people to update didn't it?

Damn, you'd think Smackdown was a popular show with how many people are here. *smirk* I found my little secluded spot in the locker room for a while and watching everyone run-run-run all over the place, chatting it up with people I haven't really seem often. Even if they don't even work here, heh.

I'll find everyone again and be social soon, right now I'm just enjoying the scene. I'll probably end up causing one of my own later anyway. *grins*

And Happy birthday prettykitty_sc!

Current Mood: content content

5 Got Marked by l'étoile
kidman_billy
It was nice to be back in Pennsylvania again, since I'm obviously not there much anymore. So I did finally catch up a little with family and really old friends. Reminds me of one of the reasons I left in the first place, heh. My tan does better in Florda anyway. But family is family and like it or not, they're the ones who'll always be there.

I know I do need to do the whole forgive and forget process for more than one issue, as hard as it is. Not that I'm stubborn or anything..*smirk* But it would be nice to have completely calm nerves again. Though not-so surprisingly, being around your old home and seeing everyone does leave you a little lonely. Seems to be a pretty common mood around.

The taping's last night did seem to leave some of us a little low which is understandable for everyone's situation. Even if I was amused that I'm not even on Smackdown when I'm in my home state. *shrug* But I did beat everyone's pop and more at the taping of everyone's favorite Saturday night show. *chuckles*

I promised to visit Lexy soon since she did report to OVW already. *grins* As much as I'll miss her in Kurts locker room that's always so damn close to mine, I'm real happy for her.

And Happy Birthday to stephie_mcmahon and belated Birthday to matthew_hardy!

Current Mood: lonely lonely
Current Music: Kid Rock : Dark and Grey

5 Got Marked by l'étoile